FLARE

Hi my dear friends. This is officially the last entry in this journal, at least for this season and maybe for always. I've realized that what I have to say to all of you whom i love very deeply, I will say when i see your faces. You dont have to see writing to know how much you mean to me, or how deeply I desire to share Christ. If it is true, as I am becoming more and more convinced of, then I want to tell you when you can look at my eyes and see how much I love you....most of you so much that it sometimes hurts to ponder. Anyway, farewell, live journal. The wife I remain, I guess the scenery has simply changed... Home friends, I miss you as always and will visit soon. Husband friends, you are amazing and maybe we'll be seeing each other again someday....Sarah especially, you have been more than an encouragement to me....come visit Furman! Ill be glad to put you up! And then of course, Dear. Well, of course I see you everyday now, and you of all people dont need this thing to know how much you mean to me and how proud of you i am.... now and always. Thought I should end it where it began. This has been incredibly mushy and I'm going to stop right now...ugh...girls... (smile)...heehee...ok well take care

"Now as they drew near the gate, a company of the heavenly host came out to meet them; and the other two Shining Ones said to this company, "These are men who have loved our Lord when they were in the world, and who have left all for His holy Name; and He has sent us to fetch them, and we have brought them thus far on their desired journey, so that they may go in and look their Redeemer in the face with joy." Then the heavenly host gave a great shout saying, "Blessed are they which are called into the marriage supper of the Lamb."
Pilgrim's Progress

i cant imagine what life would be if i didnt have Christ to hope in. How utterly black it must all seem...that there is no dawn after the pain is done. Im reminded today that not all things will be as they should here. Seems my life will hold many seasons of hardship. But i wouldnt trade it in for a life of ease...for no victory has ever been had under such conditions. I dont seek to merely dwell in the temple of the Lord, but to feast with Him, to listen as He speaks words of love to a people who should have been destined for defeat. Im not naive, so i dont place much trust in men. But then again, to love is to trust... so I will not go without experiencing disappointment just as the Savior ached with grief as He beheld His children turn from life to darkness in His very presence. He truly died in every way...including emotionally, so that His remnant, the ones who will never get it right, might taste freedom and in their stead, He would conquer the gates that would have otherwise kept them captive for all eternity...lost to nothingness and shame. I guess that's a lot for 9:00 in the morning...i just kinda woke up contemplating a lot.

hi everyone...cant talk for long cause im a gettin ready for church at redeemer...which is a really cool place if i do say so myself. but just wanted to tell everyone i love you all and miss you tremendously (that is of course except for those who i can now see on a daily basis). just a little encouragement this morning before i head on out a here

Jesus Christ: "I do not ask that You take them out of the world, but that you keep them safe from the evil one...."

"In this world you will have troubles...but take heart...for I have overcome the world"

I know I needed to know this today... maybe some of you did too.
I woke up this morning happy because my first thought was that one day...people from every tribe and tongue will bow at the throne of the Lamb together... and in one accord we will lift high the name that is above every name... and all our tears will be wiped away for the rest of all time.

I am a beggar in a land of the broken and the wickedness of man. Ive been blind since the first time I opened my eyes. But Your love is a wonder none can disguise.

My lips cannot describe You but my heart will sing. My mind cannot define You but my heart will sing. My eyes cannot behold the precious beauty of Your face but still my heart will sing of Your grace.

I had a vision of a home with every memory of love Ive ever known. It was the morning of the life to come. I saw the glory of He who overcomes.

did i mention that erin is my best friend in the world?? ok just thought id throw that out there...

this is just a small post that is going to probably be the twin to erin's post because we made a pact last night at the theater to post this...so here goes..


josh... yeah that's right.... josh..
is a sissy girl...
why you might ask?

because he made fun of caleb for not ddr-ing and yet he would not grace erin and i with his amazing skills last night at the mall...

however, i must say that i am very grateful that we didnt go see the exorsist...otherwise i would not have been able to sleep last night on account of being very very scared..so without a paddle was a good choice....erin, i love you but im not as brave as you heehee

and i dont want to hear it if i spelled something wrong.... i meant to do it..whatever it may be..heehee

josh, we love you ... but you must prove to us that you can dance like no other... and it must be soon

adios mis amigos!!

ok so i realize that the whole meeting people sentence probably sounded like i didnt enjoy meeting everyone who i met...that is not true...i just didnt mean that i had met everyone in gainesville...oh whatever....just go with it

ok so i think it is...and im still kinda sleepy...and by kinda, i mean really. but no worries. i cant seem to get the batty song out of my head...and i dont want to...so there. heehee. so the weekend was very fun. all of you who were in pippin and might read this on drew's friends list...you were great. i really enjoyed meeting everyone in gainesville (not EVERYONE...but you know what i mean). ive decided that dear doesnt deserve amazing friends such as you guys (heehee). no but we had a blast..but im too tired to give a play by play....and you probably dont want one. in other news..i love driving by myself..now when someone else is with me...i hate driving and would rather them drive my car or something. but i had some amazing jesus time coming home yesterday and it was grand. He makes me happier than anything in the whole world and i owe absolutely everything to His work in my life...because im just a clutz and tend to mess things up more than i do any good. He's very patient with me and so much more. ok just thought He deserved some praise this morning...after all...He is my life and you cant very well really know me and not hear about Him. im looking forward to seeing more of my friends from home this week. mostly erin because she's my best bud and we are determined to keep in touch better this year...ahem. (my fault..) oh and then...i talked to the yak for a long time last night and somewhere in our convo we decided that he is going to meet my mom and i at mall of ga on wednesday to do some intense shopping (mostly for him though because i personally dont care for shopping...so i wanted him along so we could have fun and not be bored). fun times. and i am so siked to get back to furman..i adore college. ive gotten some emails from the girls on my hall and it pumps me up. ok ok....so this is probably enough for today...you guys are great...caleb...dont forget to bring ddr for our get together.heehee. k bye bye

ok so here's the latest....

im finally home after a hard but wonderful summer at the beach. i was at the lake all last week and erin came to visit...we had a blast and im still determined to get her on the intertube with me at some point in time...she would love it. She's the best though. I love her. We brainstormed about hall decor last night and then watched two weeks notice. I think it was funnier this time around, although im normally not a hugh grant fan at all. lori also came to the lake and brought rebekah and jep. they are amazing. she would throw jep (5 mos) on the bed with me every morning to wake me up...he's so great. and rebekah is learning to swim..she's such a sweetheart. but now im back. went to see about contacts today..but lets face it...i probably wont wear them and if i do then ill sleep in them all the time because i hate taking them out as much as i hate putting them in. in other news...im eating out with the people from church that i graduated with and then going to see my friend stephen lead worship. tomorrow i think im going up to the high school to eat lunch with the siblings and talk to some teachers that i had and liked a lot. friday i think erin and i will go and shop some for decorations and school stuff. and then on sat im off to gainesville to spend time with the husband and his folks...and see the play of course. it'll be fun times. im not sure about all that he has planned but im sure it will be great. ok well thats it for now...

home...home again

i better get some amazing responses to the last post...come on...it was a lot...im counting on you guys...make my day

hello all and everybody. in case those of you who i dont return phone calls are wondering why i can have all this free time on thursdays and still not call...its because my daddy's going to hang me from the nearest ten story building if i use any more "peak" minutes this month...my apologies...and i promise to show my face again soon in our humble little c-town. oh and all our nights are pretty much booked from here till the end of project also. k so with that said... i feel like staying here for a while and since this will be the final posting for beach project and for a good while...i think ill write a good bit. so for those of you who truly love me... im sure you wont mind....for those who dont..you might want to exit to your right shortly.
ps....is it weird to have a random person starring in the window right beside you when you are trying to type...oh well...no matter. So, the Lord Jesus...my Jesus...is so good to me. A couple days back i prayed " Father, if i make it through these weeks...all praise to You because i am soooo exhausted...but You never slumber...You never need. So, if You are my stronghold...then i cant be defeated." Now, this may seem like an extreme thing to pray...but you dont know the nature of beach project...if the spiritual journey home is compared to a great war...then this is training for the front lines. I have to say though that i am in love with this idea of discipleship. Its tough...no doubt...and a lifelong committment...its not for the weak in spirit....but it has amazing results and rewards. I cant wait to pour my life into some girls... i kinda want that for everyone in my life that i love....that i would pour all of me out for their sakes...and this really not me but Christ. Let's face it...He's all that is good in me...in people...and so yes..therefore if He is not present in someone it stands to reason ...and ill be glad to argue that there exists nothing good. in fact...there is nothing that even exists but enough of that.
Im finding that things are becoming a lot more simple to me. I see things as either/or. Its good. Its quite humbling and refreshing to refuse to hide behind my own lies that i would otherwise choose to live in. Ive learned a lot about compassion but not in the way the world views it. I dont have compassion on someone because i feel sorry for them or because i see them as weaker than me.... i have compassion on them because in them...i see me. I see my condition..my state. And just as i am only here because of someone else's mercy...someone else's work...i therefore can have compassion for them..its more empathy than sympathy. experiencial knowlegde...or in layman's terms...wisdom. Not that i have already attained this..but i press on toward the goal for which i have been called heavenward...(Paul). Ever wonder how Paul could make such bold and confident claims...like Romans 8:38 for example? well i have and so i studied the greek text..and found that all that he knows...he didnt learn from a book or from people...its because he experienced all of it. i think that's neat.
So, in other news...i went to visit one of my favorite co-workers at her house yesterday after work. She has like 50 birds that she breeds and trains..now ill admit that at first this was not my cup of tea..im not really a bird person..i like furry things..such as squirrels...oh ralph...anyway..back on track. so i got to pet some of them and they pirched on my shoulder and talked to me...they even called me "bubba"...yeah dont ask. It was great though...she keeps everything...like records (a whole wall), cool sea stuff...oh and my favorite part...she makes quilts!!!! oh yay!!!! i tried to hint that i would love one but i dont know if she caught on...im a stinker. We talked for a good while though and i enjoy her. she's been through a lot..at one point she told me all about her pot smoking days and that was...random...but she's come a long way and is beginning to see the Lord's hand in it all. Saturday we went over to my manager and his wife's house for some home cookin...oh it was grand. and she has a little girl that reminded me of my rebekah...speaking of which...rebekah cried the other day when i was on the phone with lori...she doesnt understand why i cant come play with her...it tore me up.
went to see "the village" on friday night. arguably one of the best movies ive seen this year. i guess its what you like. i personally like the more realistic horror movies where you have to think...i cant stand the "out there" ones. Yuck. but i have a favorite speech in the movie that i almost wanted to stand up and clap about in the theatre....and for any of you who will or have seen it...its lucious's engagement spill...yeah it was nice. the whole "let me lead" thing....solid. then, to my dismay we went to see a cinderella story last night....it was the cheesiest thing...but it was good for a laugh and hilary is cute in the role she plays...im a disney fan so i like her ok.
we had our last discipleship group last night....and we finally got to go off project for it!!! it was fun and we got to help rescue a runaway kid named andrew who got lost in the storm. Alex was a fun time...i like storms...or monsoons...whichever you prefer. man, im ready to see everyone at home and at school. im going to visit dear in a couple of weeks...that will be lots of fun. itll be good to pick things up where we left off...with both him and chris. friends are good. im planning my time at home around erin, lori, family, joel, and maybe ben..yeah for those of you who know him..he called a couple weeks back so i thought it would be neat to see him again. after all, he has been my only valentine for all my life long (heehee)....well except for daniel i guess...wonder what that kid's up to...still working his tail off probably. oh and im also going to the high school to visit ruby, ledford, mr d, and mrs sharp...and have lunch with the two coolest high schoolers in the world...that being my bro and sis who are now 9th graders respectively. scott had in-grown toenail surgeory today...yikes. poor kid....he's been through a lot lately.
my grandfather's really going downhill fast. i love him so much and want Him to know Peace before He dies. been thinking a lot about that lately.
ok well thats enough...i come home next wednesday the 11...so give me a call when i get back...ill be at the lake for a while but ill have my cell. return training is sat and mon...and s africa ccp come back sun...tues...clean and pack..wed..bye bye....all my love...you guys are so dear to me...talk to you soon

hi everyone...hope things are going great in your lives...i feel like ive missed a lot in most of them...anyway. So its definitely been a week..sorry about that but last saturday i decided to help paint a banner in the morning so i didnt make it to here. So we have officially one more week of work left and then return training and then..home...well the lake...but pretty much we're through here at good ole myrtle beach. However, its been a funny week. So matt stone from school randomly calls me on monday and tells me he's coming to myrtle...and though i had zero time to really hang out...he came to see me at the chick and that was fun. He came through the drive through and i screamed when i saw him and everyone thought something was terribly wrong...fun times. And then last night i went with some girls from project into conway to see marianna nealy perform in this christian skit/camp thing. And once again it was crazy because adam morgan..also from school was playing guitar and leading worship..um..yeah but i didnt get a chance to talk to them cause they had invitation and we had to go. talked to the yak last thursday...told him i was coming to visit and he was excited...i think all the time in the basement is starting to wear on him. ive had some interesting thoughts lately about things...ok so i know its vague but its a lot and probably not worth mentioning to everyone. um...i might get to stop off and visit rabbit on the way home. i go right past north augusta...i dont know..hopefully. i got my list of girls for next year and am excited to begin to pray for them and think for them..now...im not a stalker like most of my friend ra's and i dont think ill be going on google to research these people. but, i have one girl named yamin htet from myanmar...yeah jump back..im so excited. i was going to go see bourne supremacy last sunday with my good pal daniel rowe from here and i think other people too but i decided not to on account of my laundry being in desperate need of a good washing. and plus i was exhausted and wanted to sleep. i think ill be doing that a lot in my spare time here....yeah im a bit tired. Been reading some more cs. I like him a lot. So, all my love to everyone who reads this and i think until next time ill leave you with this...a litte something to think on..."

"to love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell." Mr. Lewis---wow..chew on that for a while...

ok so all my checkups on everyone are done so its time to write i do suppose. well, im a sittin here at this table in the middle of starbucks with my tazo tea and my cheez-its and life is good. i talked to lori this morning...man i miss her like crazy. she wants me to move in beside her and us grow old together....i say its a good idea...except she's already broken the rules and gotten married...so that just leaves me as the old maid...and thats not gonna happen..i refuse...heehee. no but it was good..we got to pray over each other over the phone and my little heart was warmed! ok enough of the mush i know. in other news...the girls from the charlotte project leave today to go home. im gonna miss then a lot. work just wont be the same....tear... but i want to press on... been thinking a lot lately about perserverance...i desire it. hebrews 10 has really been my stay for a while. i really do want to finish strong...rest...and plunge right back in at furman....yay!!! oh happy day... im gonna go see dear's play in august one weekend...i cant wait. and then of course...the lakehouse...coming soon. been confronted recently in the past few days with missions again....it makes me ecstatic to think about being in some foreign land sharing the gospel...but im scared too. i dont know...but im definitly going to look into foreign study for junior year so i can get even more of a vision for the nations. i guess its that whole despise i have for normalcy and living a life of it. i choose the adventure...sailing the high seas...climbing mountains...etc. ah well...i guess i'll see what God has in store...oh Jesus....You make me happier than anything. hmm....now lets see..what else? well i went to barnes and noble yesterday and picked up two new cs lewis books...so now i cant wait to finish the four loves so i can move on to the weight of glory. oh and dear...in case you read this...im thinking screwtape letters could be a good fall read for us...what do you think?...heehee. um...tsk tsk...ive found a temporary puddleglum in my life until i find the true person worthy of this name...his name is stephen and it fits him...i dont know him real well but yesterday i randomly came up to him and said...youll do as the puddleglum for now...and even though he didnt understand...i think he felt honored...who wouldnt? well...i guess that will do for now...if i think of anything else...ill post it saturday. k well peace!!

"He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." Jim Elliot

anyway..once again..i posted and it failed....alright...condense time. so squirrel story...ralph my pet squirrel here at bp. he makes me happy. the other morning...and by the other morning i mean yesterday morning...he's playing around next to me. its like 6am...yeah i said 6am..i know..its absurd. hes acting like his leg is hurt but i know its just because he wants sympathy. hes so cute. and then getting stuck in a plastic container and such. then i dont see him for a minute and then two little paws come up on the chair next to me and then before i know it...there he is...like to seconds away from me. i almost peed in my pants from glee. but then he moved before i could touch him. but we have an understanding....sometimes we just look at each other and know. oh and then there was the dream...i talked to the roommate this morning about it...so im back at furman in my hall. but anniegreen has already partially decorated with random things that have no common theme. then my parents and amy are there and i have a baby brother but he wont let me hold him and cries when i touch him...i dont know what this means....oh where is joseph when you need him? anyway...let me also just mention that im feeling a little unloved right now...but im sure it will pass....ok bye bye

so im sitting here at starbucks in a complete daze and im so amazed. I just spent the last 2 hours talking to this lady named Jody about Christ. She struggles with depression and depression runs in my family. So we talked through so much and I got to encourage her with great truths out of Isaiah and Matthew. Im so amazed that the Lord would just plop a stranger down next to me with so much purpose in His heart for why He did so. Makes me believe even more that He places every thing and everyone in my life at the right moment for just the right reason and with an intentional plan. Ive found that i learn so much from the people i would have never thought to have in my life. He's so good to me. And i dont deserve it. Anyway...just in a bit of a state of amazement...did i mention that i love people? Yeah i mean i defininitely have a ways to go to truly grasp that, but i just enjoy them. It's hard but so wonderful beyond belief to live for something besides yourself...i mean if i lived for me...what a copout...and yet in so many ways i still do. Anyway...Ive really liked being able to talk to the Gainsville crew...i mean my number of friends there is strangely and neatly growing...hey i can say neatly if i want to...as dear says...this is my journal. I need to call the yak though. I havent talked to him in like a month...well almost a month. And dear...ahem...yeah im a gonna call him too sometime this week...although he could call me too...cough...cough.... I mean...its not gonna kill you husband of mine to converse with me, the wife figure. Its been like a week at least. My roommate came to surprise visit me at the chick on monday. I was so happy. Did i mention i absolutely love and miss her? Yeah well just in case i didnt. Well were at the 4 more week mark and its bittersweet...im ready to leave but not ready to be away from the people and my co workers. I found this cool autograph shop here that has old pictures from hollywood stuff...so i think i might have to splurge soon before i leave...all for the cause of the hall of course... And im getting my ear pierced soon. the "traigas" as it were. Im excited. Well, as of late things are going well here and today is nice. Alright, well for all you skimmers...IM DONE!! bye my dear companion figures...until next time we must part and bid each other adieu...

Ok...so i tried to update a while ago and apparently it didnt go throught....so here it was....last saturday's posting...and then a bit from today:

Hi people... I feel as though we should talk. I mean...nothing important...just think its time to converse a bit. So.... the life of a beach projector... its a new word ive decided on... a title if you would. Um...well i mean the chick is going good. I am personally crazy about this old lady i work with named "miss kitty"...no really..she's great. But i think about tiger off of fival goes west all the time..he cracks me up...i think he's funnier in my head. And get this....my batty comment from ferngully...you know the "only fools are positive"..yeah she knows that!!! it is so great..she makes me happy. So last night we went roller skating for our social...but we all had to dress as different things...one group as fruit...one as hicks...one as superheros..one as animals...and then my group which i loved: fairytale characters. Now i was somewhat disappointed that another girl wanted to be tinkerbell seeing as where she's my fav...but i was grethal! It was a blast and i had a Hansel too! And it was fun. I dont know the guy's name though...thats probably not a good thing. Anyway...im trying. Oh and ive decided that the rabbit...who i talked to today..and i are going to a matchbox twenty concerty sometime this year...you might wonder why? well because they are the best. Um..im finally trading in the 1980 cell phone...yeah thats exciting. Alright well cant think of much else...all my love to everyone who reads this. You guys are my butter muffins! heehee...k bye bye

july 9 04
10:23 pm

(the heart stuff for your updating)

People will come and stay for a short while and then go. And while they remain, let me love them as though eternity will still while we look to You. But when they leave, let me rejoice that they came, and even greater still that You remain. At the end of all things, Your voice is still true. I will rest while the world fades away in the constancy of You. Oh the journey is still long before me but let me not cease to love both the rocks and the sand. For one must climb the rocks to see the mountain view...one must endure the desert sands for the oasis to finally renew. Ill glory in being a pilgrim. A mere traveler walking through worlds unknown, gathering those Youve called Your own so that one day we'll all find peace bowed at the foot of your throne...having completed the task...having returned to heavenly home.

For all the searching I've done, oh, for just a glimpse of Your face....just an inkling of Your voice...and these worn eyes would dance and rejoice.
The posture of my heart could not be contained...these cut up and torn feet would leap in celebration at the sight of Your reign.
Because You knew me long before I sought for You. And You loved me long before creation had a name.
I did not even exist until You taught my heart to sing.
The freedom of divine purpose You alone bring. A purpose too grand for the wisest to know, a purpose who'd seeds only the lowliest can sow.
But God so much of my trust is with men
Why do they duel you for my heart? Have You not set me fully apart?
What do they possess that captures me so? When will these desires cease to grow?
Lord take my life and seal it as Your own, my tears and rend them gone. You are my fairytale come true...the Resucuer that stole me from the shadowlands. Jealous One, recue Your beloved...her sins You have more than covered.

For all of you who have ever dreamed that this world, this life would be just a shadow of reality, just a disillusion of what is true... IT IS!!! Take hold of the One who calls us out of darkness into light! He is the One who makes beauty out of illusion....eternity apart from time and space!

"But in everything, commending ourselves as servants of God, in much endurance, in afflictions, in hardships, in distresses, in tumults, in labors, in sleeplessness, in hunger, in purity, in knowledge, in patience, in kindness, in the Holy Spirit, in genuine love, in the Word of Truth, in the power of God; by weapons of righteousness for the right hand and the left, by glory and dishonor, by evil report and good report; regarded as deceivers and yet true; as unknown and yet well known; as dying yet behold...we live!! as punished yet not put to death, as sorrowful yet always rejoicing, as poor yet making many rich, as having nothing yet possessing all things!!" 2 corinthians 6:4-10

alright, i know this was long but i am so incredibly excited about Christ and that He has so much in store for us who believe!!

There are words I could speak to You that to the human ear would be considered beautiful...

There are sacrifices I could make for the sake of Your name that would impress the grandest audience...

There are offerings I could bring that would satisfy any mortal king...

But to exhaust the price on my head...there is no word, sacrifice, or offering worthy enough to suffice...No bargain rich enough...no promise true enough...

Only the life of the Innocent can be interposed for the death of the Guilty...

Only the Pure One can drink the cup of wrath down to the very dregs for the sake of the Damned Soul...

And if this Lamb were to find me...let not my pride prevent me from worshipping His name...

Let not my seemingly upright posture hinder me from falling prostate at the feet of the Great Judge who for my freedom became the vilest Debtor.

PEOPLE....................UPDATE YOUR LJ'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean i get so pumped about hearing the latest from all of you and its just the same as....Thursday....ok so it hasnt been an incredible amount of time....but i miss yall. Ok enough of that. So...what to say...what to say... There's not a lot really...i mean nothing incredibly new. Last night we had our second group date of the summer with four guys who i already knew pretty well. It was really lax and that was good. I think they knew we were exhausted. We went to the store together and bought the food to cook our meal together. It was great. We did an italian theme and the only stipulation once we started eating it was that we all had to speak in italian accents!!! it was hilarious. And then we sang and talked...and yeah thats about it. I went to bed at 11 though....i couldnt help it...i was falling over with sleepiness. Ok so im talking to people on aim right now. This is sooo great. I havent talked to so many of my furman friends in sooo long..i miss them all like crazy. I cant wait to get back. I mean some vacation time in august will be nice but ill be ready to go back when the time comes. Well, on the serious side of things...my desire here lately is to understand the things that sound so simple. Like knowing and loving the person of Christ, and trusting Him with the great and small aspects of me. Its hard...i continue to believe that my way is better...but then i have to remember that i didnt even truly exist until i was His (romans 4:17). Its an incredible thought....i love it. Also, as ive probably said before...i want to love people...not the copout love...but truly love them..see i seem to think that i do this...but then i look at scriptures like romans 9:2-3 and realize that i dont even begin to understand love. I want to though...with all that i am i want to love people the way Christ does. Im having a rough go with my roomleader this week... one of the things i dont care for about campus outreach is how much emphasis they put on hierarchy and that they consider people in their 20's to be spiritual giants just because they hold leadership positions.....sorry i guess i should just hold my tongue but i just see an arrogance...which is probably becuase i have one of my own....i just desire humility and think that that should come from more knowledge of Christ as opposed to snootiness. Ok thats that...im sorry. I woke up kinda poopy today and need some sacred space. So i think ill go and have some now. Im praying for all of you who read this. Love you all so much (or at least learning to!) and miss you like crazy!! please update soon so i can know whats going on in your lives. Oh and also...ill be on aim on sundays for sure and possibly thursdays so try to get on if you can. until then .... adios

"If you had only obeyed My commands, your peace would have been like the river and your righteousness like the waves of the sea" Isaiah 48:18

ok so the last one got cut off but i was going to say remember it has to be pink...erin i love you and miss you ....josh im glad to hear from you with your posts and kevin you crack me up....k well....i want you all to know that the summer is going great...Christ is just working out some tough kinks in my heart and it hurts. But He is faithful and ill trust Him with my life...its His anyway...ok so until next time...farewell and goodnight...!